Today is my 27th birthday. I mean 27 years of life on this planet. Some good, some bad, but every single one precious in its own way. Yep, I’m on my way 3 years into a new decade and I think it is going to be a good one. I'm on top of the world. I'm dedicating this day to celebrate myself. I've always tried to live my life at full effort and with full appreciation. Life has been so good to me so I wanted to take the time to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned in the last 27 years of my life in no particular order.
1. Being Alive Is The Most Amazing Thing That Can Ever Be
Seriously. If you’re struggling with something one day, just take it all the way back to the fact that you’re inhaling and exhaling. You’re here now. Your chance still exists. It didn’t for billions of years before you and it won’t exist billions of year after you. But it exists now, in this flicker of chance. Let that be your limitless source of renewable energy. If you’re only focused on getting to some destination, you’ll miss the entire journey.
2. There Are Better Stories In Failing
Your life would be a boring story if everything you did worked out just as you had planned. When you fail at something, you learn. We tend to work hardest and feel most happy when we are working on something that is just out of our reach. Just out of our reach means that in simply getting there, we are trying things that might not work. That is where the fun lies. A muscle can’t increase in size unless the muscle fibers tear via hard work. Growing is to tearing as learning is to failing. Your story is forged through the canyons of choices that didn’t go the way you wanted them to. That’s why we want to hear you speak. That’s why we want to read your book. That’s what makes you human. That’s what makes you like everyone else. That’s what inspires us.
3. Travel; Going Outside Your Comfort Zone Is What Expands Your Character
Nothing has influenced me more than getting out of my bubble. I realize I am extremely fortunate for being able to travel and see the world, but if the chance is yours to be had, take it. Seeing how other cultures live, seeing that there are worlds far different from yours, seeing that your way isn’t the only way teaches you empathy, understanding, and varying points of view. Travelling teaches you that you are but one blade of grass in an endless meadow: oh so unique, yet oh so alike.
4. A Smile Can Change Everything
As my mother once told me, “You never know when your smile might save someone’s life.” A genuine smile is always accepted. It’s contagious. It’s the acknowledgement that in that moment between you and another person, “I see you. I recognize you. I want to extend friendliness and joy to you, directly to you.” In that ever so brief of moment of a shared smile, you wholly matter. I see you, and what the heck...I hope this smile finds you well.
5. Be Thankful, Don't Feel Guilty
Why do I live in a 21st World country? Why do I get the chances to live an easier life? Why do I get clean water and the freedom to do as I wish? Don’t waste your time wondering why you have these random gifts, be thankful that you have them and try to live a life befitting of the gift. There is no time to feel guilty for it, only time to do something with it.
6. 80% Contentment
Things aren't going to be perfect in life. You aren't going to live in the best neighbourhood, with the best friends, having the best job, with the best social life, and the best relationship at every turn. When I was younger, I thought I had to be 100% content to be fulfilled. I've slowly learned that 80% contentment, 4-out-of-5, is pretty damn good and that's a more realistic level to shoot for. Just because something isn't perfect in your life, doesn't mean you can't be thoroughly happy. Perfection is exhausting. Be careful chasing the unblemished life.
7. Comparisons Will Kill You; Define Your Own Success
Someone will always be faster, richer, younger, prettier or more talented than you. There was a wonder statement I heard recently: “The reason we struggle with self-confidence is that we compare everyone’s highlight reel with our behind the scenes.” Stop worrying about what you don’t have and instead, magnify and utilize the things you do have.
In the same vein, be sure to clarify to yourself what success would look like to you in any endeavor. Don't let someone else's expectations be the be the rung of the ladder that you are climbing to. If so, you might miss attainable contentment and fulfillment on your climb to prove something to someone.
8. You’ll Lose Friends Along The Way
Try as you may, but holding on to the idea that your friend from grade school will be your best friend for life, might not be the most productive thing you ever do. Understand that people change, circumstances change and friends will come and go. Always be a friend but don’t spend your life trying to stay friends with someone just to say you did. Everything has a natural cycle.
9. When In Doubt, Ask
If you don’t know the answer to something and you can’t find it, ask someone. If you wonder what someone thinks or if you want to grab a coffee with someone, ask. It’s literally that simple. Don’t expect them to reach out to you just because you want them to. If the answer is no, then you find yourself in the exact same position as before you posed the question. Asking is a positive sum game.
10. Be Relatable
Degrees, skills, certifications, accolades and ability are obviously important in earning a living but I can tell you that from my own crazy path that understanding people, being present and empathetic has allowed me to connect, bond and relate in situations where I’ve been the outsider. Life is a shared existence. If people like being around you, they’ll want to have you around them more often. This goes for friends, lovers and employers.
11. Always Be Reading
Always be reading a book, even if you’re only reading 5-10 minutes a day. 10 minutes a day is an hour and ten minutes a week. At 300 words per minute, you’re reading 20,000 words a week. The average book is 70,000-150,000 words so you can read a book in 3-7 weeks by reading 10 minutes a day. Try to average a book a month. It will change your life.
12. Money Alone, Will Never Satisfy You
Understand that there is no amount of money that you can ever make where you will say, “Ok, now I’m happy.” Money comes and money goes. The question is, is the person experiencing these ebbs and flows happy with the person he is becoming? If money is your sole compass, then it will act like Homer's Sirens, luring you into rocky waters.
13. Write Things Down
There are still times when I tell myself, “I’ll never forget this!” Then two minutes later I have no idea what I wasn’t going to forget. I don’t know how many business ideas or tasks that didn’t get completed when they should have because I was too proud to write things down. You will forget. Don’t waste mental energy remembering things you want to get done. Write it down and let your brain then focus on things that need its energy the most.
14. “Should” Is The Worst Word In The English Language
Get the word “should” out of your vocabulary. All there is in life is did or didn’t. That’s it. “Should” is a half commitment. It’s a cheeseburger with no cheese. It’s untied shoes. It’s a flat tire on a perfectly able bike. It's potential wasted. It’s your quick fix to feel good about yourself because you are admitting what the right thing to do is. Just because you know what the right thing to do is, doesn’t mean you get to bask in the feeling of having done it. You should never say "should" again. Either do or don't.
15. Dream But Don't Daydream
While daydreams are important when it comes to creativity, you can’t daydream thought into action. Have hopes and dreams but understand that to realize those dreams, something in reality will have to be undertaken. There are 24 hours in a day. You need to eat and you need to sleep. The rest of that time is on you. Today is the youngest you will be for the rest of your life. Let's do this.
16. Exercise Or Die
Get your heart pumping. It is the easiest way to keep yourself balanced mentally and physically. Oh and, don't skip meals. There's nothing noble about being so busy that you forgot to eat. In fact, I'm sure your body hates it when you do that.
17. No One Cares More About Your Goals Than You Do
I used to think that people (friends, family, girls, whoever) would spend the same amount of time thinking about me, my life and what I was struggling with or working on as much as I was. News Flash: They don’t care. They are fighting their own fight. They are too tangled with their own journey to be able spend a second to think about mine. Stop wondering what everyone is thinking and instead, get after what ever it is you want to get after. You’ll get support when you’ve earned it.
18. Surround Yourself with Quality People
You will inevitably become the byproduct of the people you surround yourself with. Fortunately with the world of social media, today more than ever you are blessed with the ability to surround yourself with like minded people. If you want to be a certain way, surround yourself with the people that are already that way.
19. There's Time If You Want There To Be Time
You do have time. You have so much of it. You just have to be aware of how your minutes get used up on a daily basis. You want to get something done? How bad? Bad enough to not watch TV, surf the internet, go to Happy Hour? That choice is on you. Shrink the change by setting alarms, creating mini goals and living intentionally otherwise the hamster wheel will be your transportation du jour, every "jour". Carpe Diem. I’ve heard for years: “you’re young.” Don’t wait for the perfect time, because it will never come.
20. Prepare More, Plan Less
We try so hard to control the exact results of things we haven’t done or experienced yet that we are so hard on ourselves when they don’t turn out exactly as we imagined they would. Instead, go in a relative direction and create short term goals/checkpoints that you can more or less manage. The rest is wholly and unequivocally out of your control, both in a beautiful and sometimes cruel way. You won’t see every door along your path of life, so sometimes you just have to walk through the door and then tangential opportunities will present themselves. Hinging your happiness on a make believe point beyond the horizon is a dangerous game to play. Instead, focus on the nearest landmark. For me, I have 3 things I need to do a day. The rest is the rest.
21. If You’re Not Scared, You’re Not Doing It Right
We can’t really progress unless we are pushing against the walls on the outer edges of our comfort zone. If we only did the things we already knew, we’d never get anywhere. Fear, apprehension and sweaty palms mean that you are probably about to learn something that you’ll never forget. Smile, and say hello to wisdom.
22. Someone's Title Doesn't Mean That They're Smarter Than You
Just because someone has a prestigious title doesn’t mean that their opinion is worth more than yours on everything. Sure, some very worthy people have titles that they deserve, but there are plenty of people who have titles for political reasons or for reasons I still can’t seem to figure out. Don’t let someone’s title intimidate you just because of the title. They breathe just like you and I do.
23. Stop Keeping Score
Life is not a competition. It’s an adventure, something to be enjoyed and lived to the fullest. Keeping score ensures that you’ll be in ego driven pursuit of a meaningless marker of success.
24. Stay Present
Don’t think too much about the future or too much about the past. Neither one really matters as much as you think it does and the one key to peak performance in everything you do is presence.
25. Don’t Give Up
When you hear that Thomas Edison made 10,000 attempts to get the light bulb right, you realize that in order to have an impact on history you really can’t give up. Usually in the moments when you want to give up the most is when you make the most dramatic progress. Keep going.
26. Autonomy Has To Be Balanced With Input; Together. Be Better
Sometimes you can’t get anything done until you buckle down, turn off your phone and go one-on-one with whatever it is you have to do. The danger in that is becoming too solitary, too autonomous, where you live in your own head, drowning in your own positive illusions. Be diligent with the things you want to do, but create time and space for interaction and input from those around you. That’s where breakthroughs happen. We are who we surround ourselves with.
27. Do what you love.
This is generally the easiest thing for you to do. What do you think about when you go to bed and what do you think about when you get up? Do that. You must strive to know where your passion lies and stick to it.
As a kid, I never understood the point in living past the age of 27. It appeared to me all the good stuff occurred before this age. I realize I didn’t know as much as I thought I did. So, take this post for what it’s worth. Regardless, I’m looking forward to the road ahead and would like to thank anyone reading this that has made my life, well, my life.
CHEERS!
Thank you for reading livelifetips.blogspot.com where every articles expands your knowledge, motivates you to excellence, inspires you to succeed and increases your faith.
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Regards,
MA.
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