MAJOR DETERMINANTS OF A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.

Let me start by saying that virtually all relationship problems derive from either: sex, money, or communication breakdowns.

At least one of these problems is involved in every divorce, or relationship challenge.

If you can blossom in these three areas, relational bliss will be yours, but let me fore warn you: “To succeed will require ‘work’ and ‘consistency’ from willing partners.”  This article is not for the faint at heart, so here we go:

Sex

This is a topic that most couples are fearful to “properly” address, so let’s talk about it.  I want to divide the topic of “sex” into two sub-topics:

The first sub-topic will relate to the “frequency” and “quality” of sex
The second sub-topic will relate to being “sexy,” or having a “sexy” appearance.

Frequency and Quality of Sex

The frequency and quality of sex is a major component of a successful marriage.  If it wasn’t for sex, a lot of people wouldn’t bother getting married at all.

Sex is very therapeutic for a relationship, it’s a stress reliever and a bonding tool.

Frequent sex often happens when a husband has created an atmosphere suitable for sex to occur.  Just like some animals like to mate in warm and moist climates.  Most women like to “make love” in romantic and stress free climates.

I believe it’s largely the husband’s responsibility to create the “right climate” in the home, so that the very important act of sex can take place frequently.

When you combine the right atmosphere, with the education of the benefits of daily sex, magic is bound to happen.

As far as the “quality” of sex, you should take time to learn how to master your spouse body.   No one should be able to “make love” to your spouse “better” than you; no one knows them better, no one knows what they like better; no hooker, pimp, or “Hoe” should be able to “out-do” you!  That’s all I’ll say about that.

A Sexy Appearance

Although there’s a commandment that says you shouldn’t lust after your neighbour's wife, you should certainly lust after your own wife (or husband), and your spouse should give you something to lust after, if you know what I mean.

Of course everyone has different standards and measures as to what defines a sexy appearance, so I won’t offer you my definition.  However, I will say that a sexy appearance definitely “matters,” especially to men (because men are such visual creatures).  Let me break this one down for the women, (as an example), if you’ve put on lots of weight since the wedding, this could cause a silent problem in your marriage.

An expectation was created at the beginning of the relationship that is no longer being fulfilled.  Whenever there are important changes in a relationship, it’s important for both parties to be in agreement.  And additional weight is certainly a major change in the relationship that both parties need to agree on.  Otherwise it can cause problems, sometimes silent problems (the most dangerous kind).

You’re responsible for making sure that you’re meeting your spouse’s expectations in this area.

Ask your spouse, if you’re real confident, to rank your “sexiness” on a scale of 1-10.  Find out how you can improve your overall sex appeal.  This is an often overlooked and under-talked about subject, so make sure you and your spouse are on the same page on this one.

Money

Money may not be that critical to men, but it’s certainly important to women (if they’re honest).  Here are a few quotes to help put things in perspective:

“Women go crazy, when a man’s broke and lazy”
“Women get mean, when you ain’t got no green,” and “Your marriage will crash, when you ain’t got no cash.” “Loving without giving, just ain’t living” “Romance, without finance, doesn’t stand a chance.”
Now, of course I’m not being literal, but the point remains that money is an important part of your relationship.

This is why it’s important that we keep our finances in-order.  “Order” means the accurate arrangement of things.

If you’re working with a limited income, then you’ll need to closely monitor all of your expenses; you’ll need to have order and precision in this area of your life in order to avoid relational turmoil.

Money is the “oil” of your relationship, it keeps things running smoothly.  Somebody’s probably thinking, “Money won’t give you a ‘good’ relationship,” but that’s not the purpose of money.  The purpose of money is to solve problems, having your finances in-order will give you the ability to address many of life’s problems without having to deal with the “stress” of not having enough to take care of your needs.

Either you or your spouse should be in charge of making sure that you aren’t living above your means; this is crucial.  You should meet at least monthly to discuss your spending, saving, and investing.

In addition, you need to have a vision and a plan for the future of your finances.  Isaiah wrote, “Without a vision, the people perish,” I believe that without a vision for your money, your money will perish, so plan a future for your money.

Maybe you’re not rich yet, but you’re certainly capable of attaining riches in your lifetime!

A husband and a wife on the same page can accomplish amazing things, but a house divided cannot stand.  Decide to keep your finances in order; this will solve many unnecessary problems.

Communication

Communication is the “foundation” of all relationships!  Without regular open and honest communication the foundation of your relationship will begin to weaken.  A weak foundation won’t be able to withstand the test and trials that relationships must sometimes endure. Open and honest communication makes for a very “strong foundation,” a foundation that will stand firm.

This is why my fiance and I discuss everything; we’re each other’s best friend.  We have no secrets; there are no walls between us.  She doesn’t talk to her friends about my imperfections; she talks to me about them, because I’m the only one who can do something about them.

If you talk to her about something, there’s a good chance I’ll eventually find out about it.  Not because I’m nosey, but it will most likely “come-up” in our conversation (because we discuss every detail of our day with each other).

I don’t have a problem with my fiance going through my wallet or digging through my pockets or looking at my cell phone.

I don’t have any issues with telling her what I’m thinking; open and honest communication strengthens our bond.  There should be no secrets, there should be no walls!

Remember: If you don’t have a strong foundation, your house may not stand.  Put it another way, if your relationship isn’t built on open and honest communication, it may end in divorce.

Communication is the rock that your relationship is built on.  So what should you communicate about?

Your Expectations
Your Level of Satisfaction or Dissatisfaction
Your Wants
Your Needs
Your Day
Your Thoughts
Your Appreciation or Lack There Of
The Best Way and the Best Time to Handle Disagreements

As a way of opening up the lines of communication you can play the “honesty game,” where for five minutes you can ask each other whatever you want, and the other person has to be completely honest in their response.  This is a great way to begin practising open and honest communication.

Labour for open and honest communication; don’t let anything come between your communication, not your children, your friends, or misunderstandings.  Your communication is the foundation that your relationship is built on.  No house can stand without a foundation.

The Conclusion

So there you have it, I could honestly write pages and pages on each of these subjects, but I won’t (at least not today).  This article should give you a good “outline” as to the three areas you need to focus on to improve your relationship.

If you focus on these areas, and if you work hard, you will see massive improvements.

Thank you for reading. If you’ve enjoyed reading this article please follow through mail or submit this page to your favorite social media site or drop your comment.